nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

705,609 notes
meladoodle:

via

unclefather:

you want a man with a strong jawline so you have a sturdy place to sit

(via fuckyeahloldemort)

184,523 notes
monobeartheater:

tyrelonmelon:

I’m this bunnies momma

ARE U KIDDIN ME ITS SMALLER THAN A PLAYING CARD ITS SO TINY AND CUTE WOW WOW WOWEEEE
clockpurse:

the old couple behind me laughed 
dankleaf:

dogs